Funniest Thing That Happened on A Hunt

[PEHunter]

My buddy and I set up about 100 yds  from a single roosted Tom.  My friend wanted to video rather than shoot so he set up a few yards from me ,further from the tom.

After he flew down I got him to about 40 yds an he hung up so I took the shot.

He's flopping on the ground like mad and I get up quickly and start running towards the tom not realizing one leg had gone to sleep.....my buddy got great video of the hunt and me doing a faceplant with my gun.

Very embarrassing.

Glad I am not the only one this happened to but at least no one witnessed it...

I'll admit to this one too!

I also was walking down a 2-track one morning by moonlight to setup in a pasture before fly down and crashed in the middle of the road.  I was moving at a good pace, and had a blind, decoys and shotgun all slung over my shoulders.  I stepped in a wash and everything went flying.  It was one of those times when you realize your going down and there's nothing you can do but watch it happen.  It wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't on my families property, and I didn't the wash was there.

[TrackeySauresRex]

I've had a hard time picking one, but I guess I'll go with the chip monk "episode" last spring. I was sitting on the ground with my back to a tree watching some birds out about a hundred yards in a field. They had me pinned down and I'd been sitting there for probably two hours.

During that time a chip monk was making trip after trip by me at just a couple feet. Once as he passed by, he decided to jump up on the toe of my boot which was pointed straight up, for a look around. I was enjoying the show, when a bird gobbled out in the field. I turned my head slowly to look at the birds, and when I did it scared the chip monk. Instead of jumping off my boot and running away, he opted to dive into the "hole" between my boot and my pant leg.
I've always thought chip monks were cute little buggers and I'm certainly not afraid of them, but the sight of it disappearing up my pant leg caused me to forget about the turkeys for a minute. I won't go into details for fear of being laughed of the forum, but in the short time it took me and the chip monk to part company, I spooked the birds and probably every other critter within a quarter mile.

Bob

Lol!

[Hooksfan]

The year was somewhere around 1994, I can't remember exactly. I was living in Bienville Parish, LA near where the Bonnie and Clyde ambush occured. My best friend and I had discovered a new lake that was being constructed somewhere near Coushatta. It was choke full of duck food and was slowly filling up. The best part--- it was largely undiscovered by other duck hunters.
On this particular morning, I would be taking my young black lab pup out on her first ever duck hunt. We had been training in the off season, and I had high hopes and expectations. Now my friend, Shane, takes crudeness and vulgarity to Olympic levels of performance. He finds it totally appropriate to openly discuss topics which most mentally stable folks wouldn't even allow to enter their minds. I have yet to ever have a female acquaintance that was not totally reviled by him. He is a great friend. The topic of discussion during the last 30 minutes of the drive--yes for 30 full minutes--was centered around how bad he needed to take a dump. He discussed every item in detail that the had consumed in the past 24 hours and how each one of those items were interacting with the other in his lower GI tract. It was quite the discertation on health and nutrition and nasty all rolled into one conversation.
When we arrived at our destination, Shane proudly announced he was going to take care of some business and would be back shortly, approximately five pounds lighter. He dissappeared into the tall grass surrounding the lake in the pre-dawn darkness. I got out of the truck, pulled on my waders and began making preparations for the hunt. I let down the tailgate and opened up the kennel. Little did I know at the time, but this simple action would seal our fate for the morning. The pup responded as any pup would. She was happy to be out of the kennel and was excited to be in a new place. She did a couple victory laps around the truck and then disappeared into the darkness. I began getting decoys together, oblivious to the pandomonium that was about to ensue.
Shane would recount the story later, but lets just suffice it to say that there is no more vulnerable position to find oneself in a hunting situation than to have ones' pants around ones' ankles fully engaged in a biological process and then hear an unidentified, presumably wild animal, running towards you through the tall grass in the total darkness. I have no doubt that he would have shot the pup if he would have had his shotgun. The pup stopped a few feet short and growled at him, which did little to relieve his anxiety, and then proceeded to barrel into him, knocking him over and nearly into the pile on the ground. Not to be denied, the pup then did what labs are famous for---She dropped and began to roll in the fresh excrement!!
Back at the truck, I quickly became aware that an epic battle of some sort was taking place in the direction my hunting buddy had dissapeared to a few moments earlier. The first noises were not necessarily discernible as human, but as he gained his composure, I was able to make out, "Brad, get your *&^% Dog!!!!".
I complied with his request and all the pre-season training paid off--much to my chagrin--as the still hyper puppy began bounding in my direction. I had my head lamp on and could see some foreign matter on the dog, and as she came closer, my suspicions were confirmed as an indescribable putrid odor filled the air. The pup is still headed my way and is in a playful mood. I try to avoid the dog and begin running away from her. I forgot all about the commands sit, stay, and heel and totally panicked. The pup, I am sure, interpreted all of this as "Dad wants to play a new game!!" as she continued to try and jump up on me.
Shane emerged from the grass at this point and the pup granted me a reprieve and headed in his direction and then back towards me. I momentarily thought about shooting her. I can only imagine how comical the scene would have been if it would have been videotaped.
I somewhat gathered my wits and headed off into the water and grabbed several handfulls of grass and dunked the dog under as she swam towards me. After a while of wiping her clean and dry heaving, we were a little late getting set up, but managed to survive the ordeal with only slight mental scarring.
As it turned out, it became one of the most memorable duck hunts I have ever had. We quickly took limits, including a canvasback and a redhead taken in the same day, and the pup proved herself and would become one of the best dogs I have ever hunted over.

[jwhunter]

I'll keep this short. 2002 my granddad and I (he was 74 I was 17) were working 2 birds into gun range. this was his 1st turkey hunt. he was avid outdoorsman but never turkey hunted. the birds got within 100 yards  and were coming. he said "Son I got to go" I said "Now?" he said "YES!" I said "you cant they are coming and about to pop out". he said when your 74 and you got to go .... you got to go now". he proceeded to pass his breakfast one tree over!! birds were gobbling the entire time! he finished... sat back down. 5 minutes later they popped up in the road and we killed them. wow what an event... I still laugh about it

[born2hunt]

Hooksfan has taken the lead   
My wife and I were both in tears as I read this to her. Thanks for that one !!!

[tomstopper]

Hooksfan has taken the lead   
My wife and I were both in tears as I read this to her. Thanks for that one !!!

I agree. I would have lost my mind and my buddy would have been bathing my pup for a long time. Keep these coming guys, I know there are more out there....lol

[Trapper13]

I've deer hunted my whole life but didn't start turkey hunting till I was 18. My second season I was fortunate enough to take my 1st gobbler. I shot it, took off running down there when i go to pick it up it's not dead so I panic. I'm thinking I don't want to shoot it again and tear it all to pieces so out of the corner of my eye i see a pretty good sized stick and proceeded to club him till he quit moving. I didn't know to just step on its head, my buddies still won't let me live that down. Then a few years ago I walked down an old skidder path to the edge of a greenfield surrounded by 16'-18' tall pines  and a big hardwood hollow on the back side of it. So before I go across this field I decide I'm gonna give a couple of owl hoots to see if there is any active birds close by. Unbeknownst to me these 2 owls are on each side of me and when I step out in the field they fly down across my head I had to hit the deck to keep from getting hit in the head. Earlier that same year while fishing on wheeler with my dad I took a seagull to the head while running down the lake. That was a bad year for me and birds.

[Old Gobbler]

Funniest thing I ever saw in my life was me and my dad were in the most mosquito infested swamp and my dad whips out a bottle of what he thought was mosquito repellant and starts rubbing it generously all over his face....runs out it was FOX PEE cover scent , omg!!! You had to be there !!!!! The reaction he gave was classic , I heard some all new curse words I didn't even think existed --damn I miss that guy , every time I need a laugh I think of that

[WNCTracker]

Funniest thing I ever saw in my life was me and my dad were in the most mosquito infested swamp and my dad whips out a bottle of what he thought was mosquito repellant and starts rubbing it generously all over his face....runs out it was FOX PEE cover scent , omg!!! You had to be there !!!!! The reaction he gave was classic , I heard some all new curse words I didn't even think existed --damn I miss that guy , every time I need a laugh I think of that

that is hilarious. You sure you didn't put the fox pee in the mosquito repellant bottle for your own amusement :-)

[tomstopper]

Funniest thing I ever saw in my life was me and my dad were in the most mosquito infested swamp and my dad whips out a bottle of what he thought was mosquito repellant and starts rubbing it generously all over his face....runs out it was FOX PEE cover scent , omg!!! You had to be there !!!!! The reaction he gave was classic , I heard some all new curse words I didn't even think existed --damn I miss that guy , every time I need a laugh I think of that

That's awesome. I would have been rolling on the ground laughing. Its awesome that you have that memory to look back on though with you dad even though it wasn't to pleasurable for him at the time...lol

[g8rvet]

This one is kinda funny - now.

Nephew and I had limited number of days left to hunt before the season went out and both of us had one bird left.  The weather forecast was UGLY.  Rain, high winds, tornado watch.  No lightning though.  We said, we are men, lets go.  We met up and drove in, rain pelting the truck as we got there a little early and just sat until time to head in.  I say, is that hail?  Umm, no it was pine needles and debris pelting the windshield!  Sounded like hail.  I have killed birds on nasty days, and we were not to be deterred.  We get out and start easing our way in.  I am a little hard of hearing and he stops and asks "what is that noise?"  I hear it and say it is a train.  Then I realize the train track is north and this sound is south of us!  Ooops.  We are close to a low lying area and we both decide that we don't want to see flying cows and head to that spot at a trot.  We get there and the roar moves off (not F5 crazy, but in the dark, no visual and just the noise, two grown men were a wee bit skeered-although we both like to tell it like it was no big deal).  We say, to heck with it, the drive home would be more dangerous and go hunting.  I set up where I had played with a gobbler a week earlier and we take our seats.  The wind is still howling, but the rain has let off.  At daylight, I see movement coming from the roost and this is the God's honest truth.  We see a Tom and jake working their way to us through the thinned pines.  At a little over 100 yards, the Tom is gobbling, looking right our way and we can see him gobble and can't hear a thing other than the wind.  We WATCH him gobble like 4-5 times and never hear a thing.  They head straight to us. Of course the jake passes by at 35 yards, but the gobbler stays just out of range.  Forget scratching leaves, he is going to pass us by - both guns leveled at his head.  I start calling and am still not sure if he could not hear us, or just did not care. He walks right on past and never got any closer than 50 yards, at best.  He headed right for the low spot we had let the "heavy wind" pass us by while hunkering down like chirren scared of the boogeyman.  We call it the "tornado hunt" and I think not taking the shot made a better memory than had we killed the jake, which neither of us even considered without saying a word. 

The next hunt, we drove over to the where we heard the sound of the train and could see a few snapped off trees in a line.  Dummies.

[chcltlabz]

These are great, and why is it the best stories always involve crap.  I guess we'll always be teenagers.

I'll add a crap story to the mix.  A friend and I were hunting the mountains of PA.  We drove my truck to the top of a ridge and set out to a small spur that usually held a bird, and it did this morning.  It was still well before fly down time, and my buddy has to go.  I thought I had all my bases covered by reminding him to be as quiet as he could, go away from the bird and for god's sake, stay down wind.

Well this bird kept hammering harder and harder and he must have gotten in a hurry.  Before I knew it, he was back beside me on the same tree, gun up and at the ready.  As we worked this bird I would assume that had hens, he kept asking me "Did you fart?  I smell "  After a couple episodes of this, we made a move and ended up bumping in to a black bear with a cub, which in and of itself was a pretty funny story.  They can be quite protective, so things were very tense until they trotted away, and as always right towards the gobbling bird shutting him down.  In the midst of the hunt, my buddy crossed over to being up wind of me and the reason for his question became more apparent.  He was smelling himself.  In his pre-dawn rush, he had dropped his coveralls and not taken the time to "clear the landing zone" and proceeded to lay a steaming pile in the back of his suit.  When he finished processing the paperwork (which were included in the nice package), he pulled up his coveralls, zipped them up and went on about his merry way, newly formed heap and all.  We got back to the truck and he took off his camo, and there it was in all its glory dripping off his back, TP, corn and all (why is it there's ALWAYS corn in it, and would this have constituted hunting over bait?)

I made him ride down the mountain in the bed of the truck.  He stayed mad at me for quite a while over that, but there was NO WAY he was bringing his sewage covered self into my truck cab.

[tomstopper]

These are great, and why is it the best stories always involve crap.  I guess we'll always be teenagers.

I'll add a crap story to the mix.  A friend and I were hunting the mountains of PA.  We drove my truck to the top of a ridge and set out to a small spur that usually held a bird, and it did this morning.  It was still well before fly down time, and my buddy has to go.  I thought I had all my bases covered by reminding him to be as quiet as he could, go away from the bird and for god's sake, stay down wind.

Well this bird kept hammering harder and harder and he must have gotten in a hurry.  Before I knew it, he was back beside me on the same tree, gun up and at the ready.  As we worked this bird I would assume that had hens, he kept asking me "Did you fart?  I smell "  After a couple episodes of this, we made a move and ended up bumping in to a black bear with a cub, which in and of itself was a pretty funny story.  They can be quite protective, so things were very tense until they trotted away, and as always right towards the gobbling bird shutting him down.  In the midst of the hunt, my buddy crossed over to being up wind of me and the reason for his question became more apparent.  He was smelling himself.  In his pre-dawn rush, he had dropped his coveralls and not taken the time to "clear the landing zone" and proceeded to lay a steaming pile in the back of his suit.  When he finished processing the paperwork (which were included in the nice package), he pulled up his coveralls, zipped them up and went on about his merry way, newly formed heap and all.  We got back to the truck and he took off his camo, and there it was in all its glory dripping off his back, TP, corn and all (why is it there's ALWAYS corn in it, and would this have constituted hunting over bait?)

I made him ride down the mountain in the bed of the truck.  He stayed mad at me for quite a while over that, but there was NO WAY he was bringing his sewage covered self into my truck cab.

I don't blame you. After having kids, I always keep a package of Baby Wipes in my truck. If you had these, he could have at least wiped himself clean and rode off the mountain in his birthday suit (which I am sure would have spun another funny moment). 

[TrackeySauresRex]

Hooksfan has taken the lead   
My wife and I were both in tears as I read this to her. Thanks for that one !!!

Ohh Yea! 
Mom always said stepping in #2 was lucky. Never mind falling and rolling in it. Lol! Great hunt!

[SteelerFan]

Hooksfan - 
I feel as if I was standing there watching! That was great!!!