Two guys were discussing popular family trends
on sex, marriage, and Family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we
got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her
maiden name?
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where
did my intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from
your mother, cause I still have mine.'
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the
divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your
wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And
every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed
the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said,
'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great
cook and really Good with the kids.'
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me
how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder
of Juan Gonzalez.
'How was he killed?' asked one detective.
'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.
'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'
'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I
passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten
years and twenty pounds since I had even considered
buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an
all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.
