Help with Some Jokes

[JVA54]

 

[catdaddy]

I have a large repertoire of jokes. Here is one I can give the punch line to:

Why don't you ever give a women a watch for a gift??

You shouldn't have to--there is a clock on the oven.   

[kyhareraiser]

  why are there no prostitutes in tennessee ...because they all are volunteers

[renegade19]

What do you call somebody else's cheese?   Notch-yo cheese

[kyhareraiser]

a guy takes his wife on a deer hunting trip and when they arrive at the farm and chat with the farmer a bit b4 heading to the stand he introduced the farmer to his wife .they give their hellos,nods and then the hunter says ,lets go babe.. as they head out through the yard the farmer calls the hunter back and ask if he would mind putting a old mule with a bad leg out of it's misery and the hunter lit up right there and said yes.as the hunter and his wife walked along to their blinds the wife ask,,honey,what did that farmer say to you when he called you back,,expecting to her that the farmer said she was a keeper,,a good looker,ya' know that kinda stuff  but,the hunter lit up again,and said well he kinda pissed me off,,he said you could hunt but you could'nt shoot anything ,so as they walked by the mule the hunter said well ,i'll show him  and he shot the mule right there in front of her..she gasped,and said well that'll show him..as they got to where the road split the hunter told his wife to pick a trail so she took the one leading right and so he was left with the other.he told het to follow the road up over the little hill and her blind would be right on the other side oh it .she heads off and so does he .since her walk was'nt near as far as his he kinda figured she would be settled in and ready and he kinda hurried so he could get ample huntin' time in too,,about the time he got to his blind he heard it   BANG   BANG  BANG BANG  ,so he hurries back to his wife and ask,,what did you do miss him.......she says heck no,the more i thought about what that farmer said about me not being able to kill anything ,,it pissed me off too,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,so i shot 4 of his cows           lol

[Limbstrutter]

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"

The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them but, I haven't had a clue."

The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."

"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."

"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a great time! Today I am taking them to the beach."

[new2turkey]

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"

The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them but, I haven't had a clue."

The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."

"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."

"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a great time! Today I am taking them to the beach."

Can you imagine? 

[kj]

Thanks guys.  Just got back and used several of the jokes.